The hardest thing to say is good bye.

Hello.
I guess this will be one of the hardest thing I will ever write, the tears are flowing down my cheeks just thinking about what to say.
You see this will be my very first post since my lovely mum passed away.

On Friday 2nd March at 12.17, my very best friend left me behind.

If any of you have read this blog before, you know how much my mum meant to me.
A truly amazing woman, she gave everything she had to so many people and causes it was silly.

A blood and platelet donor for over 25 years she especially helped save the lives of children who suffered from Leukemia.

She served as a Governor on my childrens school for over 30 years, helping to make our school and many others, better and safer. She helped to save our school field, so that the children had somewhere to play sports and enjoy out door activities.

Here are some of the things she loved the most, that make me smile.
Babies and butter,  often indulging in the latter a bit too much.
Cream cakes and tea.
Books, (Vampire romance especially) she devoured them at almost impossible rate. Recently she upgraded to a kindle which never left her side.
The sun, she was never happier than when she was sunning herself in Florida on one of our holidays to Disney Land.
My kids, she was just over the moon when she found out I was having a second set of twins, she loved to tell people about that, she said it was a very special thing, a gift from God,a blessing.
She especially loved little Poppy, and loved to watch her sing and dance around the house.

My mum was full of energy and life, she was a do-er, always up front leading the way.
Her hair always smelled of Palma violets, as she used Lush Daddy-o shampoo, which she delighted in telling me was for Silver haired ladies like herself.

I can't really begin to tell you how much I miss her.
She spent every day with me, Monday to Friday 8.30am until 5pm, and of a weekend we normally ended up popping to the shops together too.
She was not just my mum, but my partner in crime, always helping me with my businesses and work.
I asked her opinion on EVERYTHING, sometimes calling her up of an evening for just 30 seconds to get a yes or no on something quite insignificant.

I miss our conversations about nothing, making her a cup of tea, hearing her laugh, our baking sessions when she wore her special pink polka dot apron.
We would sit for hours making plans that both of us knew would never happen, but she would insist that we needed to have dreams.

I loved to make her proud. She backed my Dessert Table business 100%, and I remember the shriek of excitement when I told her I was to be featured on Amy Atlas for the first time. The joy that danced in her eyes in the weeks before she passed when she saw my work on Hostess with the mostess and when I told her in the hospital I was going to be on Rock and Roll bride, she was just delighted for me.

You know I could go on forever, but there is simply too much to say, so I'll let the Banana Loaf take over.

One of my mums favorite things I make, is my special Banana Loaf. I can't tell you the recipe as it is a family secret, but I made one last week in memory of her and shared it with my family.

So all that's left to say is "Mum, this cup of tea and slice of cake is for you , I gobbled it all up for you, miss you so much, love your Natty"

Until we meet again xx